When it comes to boundaries, I have a bit of a dual personality.  I understand boundaries very well and abide by them in my personal and professional life.  I have a decent ability to read people and understand how things ought to proceed in terms of appropriateness and boundaries. What I didn't fully understand until recently, however, was that though I am careful about respecting others' boundaries, I had never really set my own.  Sometimes I would come across someone who would challenge my boundaries, but for the most part, I have been around people who have the same understanding and respect for them as I do, so I've skirted by without having to deal with the uncomfortable business of letting someone know that they are crossing the line. 

For the past several years, I've had  someone in my life who has frequently acted with complete disregard for boundaries.  I had convinced myself that if I just remained patient and kind and 'open', that this person would come to know me and respect me, therefor then understand how much I value my privacy and family time.  HA!  Trying to put the responsibility for my boundaries on another was NOT a good plan.  :)  Not that I knew I was doing it.  I was "preserving harmony", "not stirring the pot/rocking the boat/tipping the canoe/whatever", "taking the high road" (I wasn't. The high road is well paved and marked - I was taking the side short-cut. . .and boy did I get lost!).  After a while I started to feel almost assaulted by this person's energy during and after each encounter. Even constant Reiki wasn't doing the trick (well, as you may know, it was doing just what it was supposed to be doing, which was getting me to this point. . .and I can't imagine how I would have felt without it!:)).

Thanks to some amazing friends and colleagues who have caused me to see the situation from many perspectives, I've come to realize that setting boundaries doesn't mean I have to love less or that I'm less kind.  I have learned to "release with love."  I have love in my heart for this person (though to be honest, it's sometimes a struggle to avoid being angry.  I try to direct any anger toward the actions, not the person, then move on to better thoughts! :)).  But I have made the choice not to allow the actions to continue to effect me, by releasing that person from my life, at least for the time being.  

I thought passive kindness was the best way.  However, we exist in a world with many people and passive didn't do the job against aggressive. (Anyone who's known me for any length of time might get a laugh thinking of me as being passive, as I was known for my aggressive nature while playing sports.:)) Assertive is the new word of the day around here! 

Anyway, may you be blessed many times over with the confidence to set boundaries and the inner peace and strength to do so with love.  If you have that ability already, may you be blessed with continuing wisdom. :)   

Love,

L